One Week in OUR life
by Serran Longblade
Summary: This is a parody of the Barenaked Ladies song, "One Week". Rated PG for swearing.


BARENAKED LADIES "One Week"  
  
It's been one week since you kissed my @$$,  
  
I said you gonna work for me someday,  
  
Five days since you laughed at me saying,  
  
I'm gonna kick you're @$$ after school today,  
  
Three days since the big gym,  
  
I realized it's all my fault, But couldn't tell you,  
  
Yesterday you'd forgiven me,  
  
But it'll still be two days till I say I'm a nerd,  
  
I think you're a pervert,  
  
Looked down a girl's shirt,  
  
And got slapped in the face hard,  
  
Eat donuts by the ton, Even though you're overweight now,  
  
You like the tacos,  
  
'Cause they're so old,  
  
They make you throw up constantly,  
  
Big like P. Diddy,  
  
Who the H3[['s he supposed to be?  
  
They all watch TRL, Thinkin' it's big now, But we know it's all about Star Wars,  
  
You try to match wits, You try to hold me but I get a nosebleed,  
  
Gonna make a break and take a fake,  
  
I'd like a frickin' McFlurry,  
  
I don't like shop class, Because I'm afraid of power tools,  
  
Gotta see the show, 'Cause then you'll know,  
  
That killer robots are cool,  
  
Cause they're so dangerous,  
  
You'll have to sign a waiver,  
  
How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're pissed off,  
  
Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad,  
  
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at an awards show,  
  
Can't understand what I mean?  
  
Well you soon will,  
  
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve,  
  
I have a history of having seizures,  
  
It's been one week since you looked at some girl,  
  
She punched your face and said, 'What the hell are you looking at?!",  
  
Five days since you tackled me,  
  
I've still got the rug burns on both my knees,  
  
It's been three days since the afternoon,  
  
You realized it's not my fault,  
  
Not a moment too soon,  
  
Yesterday you punched Mike's face in, And now he sits back and wait til' you say you're sorry, (Yeah but I know you're not gonna because you're an @$$h0[3)  
  
Chickity China the Chinese chicken  
  
You have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin'  
  
Watchin' X-Files with no lights on, Makes you pee in your sleep now,  
  
I hope the Smoking Man's in this one,  
  
Like the English teacher I'm getting frantic,  
  
Like Sting I'm tantric,  
  
Like Snickers, guaranteed to satisfy,  
  
They think they're so great,  
  
They think they've got big brains,  
  
They beat the $h!t out of you for no apparent reason,  
  
Gonna get a set a' lightsabers,  
  
Gonna find the kind with glowing blades,  
  
Just so I don't cut off other people's arms,  
  
Gotta get in tune with Dragon Ball Z,  
  
'Cause you think the cartoon is really really cool now,  
  
That make me think the wrong thing,  
  
How can I help it if I think you're funny pissed off,  
  
Tryin' hard not to smile though I feel bad,  
  
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral,  
  
Can't understand what I mean?  
  
Well, you soon will,  
  
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve,  
  
I have a history of losing my head,  
  
It's been one week since you looked at me,  
  
Pulled out a M16,  
  
And said "I'm sorry",  
  
Five days since I laughed at you and said,  
  
"You've got to stop talking about this now!",  
  
Three days since English class,  
  
We realized we're both to blame,  
  
But what could we do?  
  
Yesterday you just smiled at me,  
  
Cause it'll still be two days till we say we're sorry,  
  
It'll still be two days till we say we're sorry,  
  
It'll still be two days till we say we're sorry,  
  
Chicago, the strangest city ever (besides 'The Gambia' and Timbuck 2)  
  
It's been one week since you looked at me  
  
And yelled in my ear, "Shut up!",  
  
Five days since you glared at me saying,  
  
"Save that for later right now I'm busy.",  
  
Three days since the living room,  
  
I realized it's all my fault, But couldn't tell you,  
  
Yesterday you haven't forgiven me,  
  
But it'll still be two days till I say I'm sorry,  
  
Hold it now and watch Black Hawk Down,  
  
As I make you stop think,  
  
You'll think you're looking at Pearl Harbor,  
  
I summon Twix to the dish, although I like Hershey's,  
  
I like the fish sticks,  
  
'Cause they're so crunchy you risk breaking you teeth,  
  
Hot like wasabe when I bang heads together,  
  
Big like Limp Bizkit,  
  
Because I'm all about yelling,  
  
Linkin Park's go the mad hits,  
  
You try to match wits, You try to hold me but I kick you,  
  
Gonna make a break and take a fake,  
  
I'd like a frickin' Gatorade now,  
  
I like vanilla, 'Cause it's the finest of the flavors, (You can put anything on it)  
  
Gotta see the show, Cause then you'll know,  
  
That I like rock music too,  
  
Cause it's so loud,  
  
You'll have to get insurance,  
  
How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad,  
  
Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad,  
  
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral,  
  
Can't understand what I mean?  
  
Well, you soon will,  
  
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my pants,  
  
I have a history of yelling weird sentences,  
  
It's been one week since you looked at me,  
  
Threw your arms in the air,  
  
And yelled, "You're crazy",  
  
Five days since you blackmailed me,  
  
I'm still gonna shoot you when I get older,  
  
It's been three days since the afternoon,  
  
You realized it's not my fault,  
  
Not a moment too soon,  
  
Yesterday you stabbed me with a pencil,  
  
And now I sit back and wait til you say you're sorry,  
  
Chickity China the Evil cafeteria pizza,  
  
You have a slice or two and your brain stops tickin',  
  
Watchin' Real World with no lights on,  
  
Makes you wet your pants with (Gross!),  
  
I hope the weird guy's (oh wait, they're all weird) in this one,  
  
Like Tom Cruise I'm getting frantic,  
  
Like Freakazoid I'm tantric, (Oh, Nutbunnies!)  
  
Like Snickers, guaranteed to satisfy, (yeah right!)  
  
Like Eminem I rap bad, Okay, I don't rap at all,  
  
But if I did I'd have mental problems,  
  
Gonna get a set a' better rifles,  
  
Gonna find the kind with locking bolts,  
  
Just so the empty shells don't bounce off your head,  
  
Gotta get in tune with Op-Center, Because if I don't I'll never get the storyline, And I'll go crazy in seconds,  
  
How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad,  
  
Tryin' hard not to smile though I feel bad,  
  
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral,  
  
Can't understand what I mean?  
  
Well you soon will,  
  
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve,  
  
I have a history of losing my head,  
  
It's been one week since you looked at me  
  
Whacked me upside the head,  
  
And said "What the H3[[!"  
  
Five days since I laughed at you and said,  
  
"You've got to get this off your head before it kills you!",  
  
Three days since the living room,  
  
We realized we're both to blame,  
  
but what could we do?  
  
Yesterday you just smiled at me,  
  
Cause it'll still be two days I admit I read Power-Plays,  
  
It'll still be two days till we say we're sorry,  
  
It'll still be two days till we say we're sorry,  
  
Ed and I are gonna shoot you. 


End file.
